Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Today I have two choices.
1. The triggered memory can be packaged, all pretty and neat, and tucked away deep within my soul. This choice I imagine would be pleasing to the devil. He can use it to break me. Nothing would give him more pleasure than dangling it in front of me for the purpose of torment to weaken my faith whenever he chooses.
to continue reading just click on the title
2. Or I can face the triggered memory with the humility and grace gifted by the love of our amazing powerful God. To be honest, I’d love to take the easy path … tuck it away and HOPE it never again surfaces. Hmm, but is that the easy way? The theme song of the game show Jeopardy would continually play in my head
|do do do do|
|do do do do|
“do do do do, do do do, do do do do”
as I wait for the next attack. I know at some unsuspecting moment
it’ll be there, more intense and terrorizing than ever.
Also, if I buried it deep within my soul, I’d be a hypocrite. Maybe not to you because you wouldn't necessarily know but God and I would, my conscience couldn't live with that. I’d be talking a lot of meaningless words using the face of Reflections of Hope Ministries. I wouldn't be walking the path that God has set forth to me, bottom line disobedience.
Healing is the message of my life’s story. Hope is the mission of the ministry.
So with the strength of my powerful and loving God holding me tight, I am going to face my triggered memory. It’s not going to be easy I’m sure, but don’t we have to be broken to be fixed? Our healing comes not from the wounds we covered with a bandage, but from the lesions left exposed.
Every time I think I’m there - I’m healed, I stumble over another memory that the devil places in my path. After dealing with the frustration of this happening, I’m thankful to my Creator for giving me the strength to say “GO AWAY DEVIL – THERE’S NO PLACE FOR YOU IN MY HEART!” Say it LOUD and CLEAR. There was a time I wouldn’t have had the knowledge, strength or gumption to say it, can you say those words?
A memory that haunts us is just that, a memory – whatever circumstances created the memory is something you’ve already SURVIVED. It CANNOT and WILL NOT hurt you again. You’re in CONTROL; you have the CHOICE to allow the memory to heal. So this is the point in time I’m walking what I’m talking.
The hard work begins. I have to define the memory so I won’t allow it to refine me and confine me.
This is the first step my friends – I pray, will you pray with me and for me through this? I will do the same for you when you ask.
Second step is the writing I’m doing now. I’m shining light on the triggered memory because you know; the devil doesn’t like the Light of God shone on him. He plans his attack in the dark alleys of your mind. Wow, that’s good – I just reread that sentence, I love writing these things with the Lord, he puts awesome words on my heart to share with you. Let’s say it again. The devil doesn’t like the Light of God shone on him. He plans his attack in the dark alleys of your mind.
I don’t have a clear vision or understanding of the memory which is another sign of the devil. He’s muddling in your mind, confusing you to the point you're not sure what you see or don’t see. It’s like trying to see your reflection in a murky pond. I need understanding of this to get through it – as long as we’re talking ‘pond talk’ I’ll say this isn’t a minnow sized memory – it’s the biggest baddest ugliest catfish resting on the bottom of the pond memory. I’m going to ask for help with clarity on this one. It'll help to talk it through so it doesn’t outshine me.
Whew … I think this is enough for now. But please stay close so you can read on for further steps as I journal through this process. In the meantime, I ask you to keep me in your prayers. I welcome any wisdom along the way if you care to share … blessings to you.