I've been quiet lately

just because ... I've been busy.

On Sunday the 25th of September Reflections of Hope Ministries was asked to help prepare and serve a meal with Fresh Cup Ministries to people displaced from their homes. This flooding is because of 'man made flooding' that has occurred in the State of Missouri. So sad.

It was a pleasure to be a part of this day for these folks who not as Mother Nature happening or of their own fault are living with friends and family, rental homes and rv's. I had so many questions for them but didn't ask one. I listened.
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Pulling out of the garage this morning my grandson

Matthew said it’s going to be a beautiful day Grandma, the sun is shining so bright. I agreed with him as I maneuvered around the dirt pile that is still in the lower quadrant of my driveway.

I thought further about his statement as he jumped out of the car at school with the words I love you Grandma left hovering in the air above his tracks as he ran toward the school building.

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I feel guilty, really guilty.

I started a new bible study a few weeks ago. When you do this, don’t you need to be committed to get the most out of it? I’ve missed out on the ‘study’ part. The knowledge is important, I thirst for it, I’m faithful to it though I'm not getting this one and I feel guilty.

I’m not devoting the time that I should. All kinds of excuses are being justified in my mind of why I’m not doing the lessons. Things like I haven’t felt well, I don’t have the energy, I don’t understand it and I need to spend my time on other projects are a few of the excuses that come to mind.
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In life we have experiences that we

don't always understand. My husband and I don’t understand the life we have been living the past week and a half. But, it’s our life and we certainly take ownership of it.

Last Friday afternoon I received a phone call from a nurse at the doctor’s office with lab results. I could tell by her not giving my AIC count (for diabetes) and cholesterol reading that she was probably new. Before disconnecting the call she said, by the way I see your MRI report. With no clue what she was saying the report was being read to me. I was told I had an aneurysm in my brain as well as something else (no details) was wrong with an artery in the brain. Scary …of course.
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Raise your hand if you like to go to the doctor.

Ah, I didn’t think so. None of us enjoy our annual checkups, especially if they end up being more frequent than yearly. If you’ve been a frequent reader of my posts, you've read how I’m not always a very good patient. Not because I don’t want to take care of myself – more because I stay busy caring for others and don’t make me time.

I’ve reached the point that I have no choice but to put myself first. In fact, I will take it a step further. I’m going to ask all of you to keep me in your thoughts and prayers.

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My husband and I spent precious time with

our 2 grandsons on Sunday. We were invited to spend the afternoon in the country visiting with our daughters’ fiancé’s family. What more could you ask for? A pond, a few worms, hungry fish, a couple of buckets to sit on, fishing poles and of course 2 adventuresome little boys. I can’t imagine a more perfect day.

I had forgotten it’s useless to explain to a 4 and 6 year old that they couldn’t talk so they wouldn’t scare the fish away. I might as well been telling a coyote not to howl at the full moon. But, it really didn’t matter because they were chattering out of anticipation of the fish jumping onto their hooks.

We did explain especially to the youngest with extreme importance not to get close to the edge of the dock. We came prepared to fish, not swim! Next, we had to tackle baiting the hook and making sure only the worm was hooked, if you catch my drift. For my 2 ‘Billy the Exterminator’ wannabe’s, they were terribly shy toward a wiggly ole worm.

The casting the line lesson was next. Then the explanation of the bobber, reeling in the line and of course re-baiting the hook because the cast was too hard, the bobber lesson was forgotten and the worm then was a free meal times 2. After a few mishaps all 3 of us (papa took pictures) sat quietly on our respective buckets contemplating the BIG fish we were about to catch.

I can only imagine what was going through the minds of the boys, but for me I kept thinking of the old proverb give a man a fish and feed him for a day or teach a man to fish and feed him for a lifetime.

Thank you God for the opportunity to spend this time with my grandsons and giving me the chance to develop lifelong memories within their little hearts.

The as close to silence as we were gonna get ended as the excitement increased when nibbles snatched the bobbers under the waters surface. Several little bass, perch and bluegill took the bait giving the boys the ability see the fish up close (but not too close) and personal. The next lesson then became catch and release so the fishes could swim back to their momma’s.

After several nibbles and a few bites, the boy’s purpose was served – they caught their fish and were done after Matthew proudly announces he caught the most fish and the smallest of the day. If you put a magnifying glass to the computer screen you can see the 2” bass or bait as the rest of us tagged it.

The rumbling of the motor of the ATV soon caught their attention and they were off on another adventure. Their smiles exceed any words I could use to describe part 2 of a day in the country.

I was left on the dock with my bucket, fishing pole and worms. The priceless solitude triggered memories of the occasional fishing excursions with our own children. I relived their excitement of the first catch, the biggest catch and the occasional hook in a shoreline tree branch.

We took our kids on camping trips investing time in our family. We gave them experiences that money couldn’t purchase. Frankly, we couldn’t have gone on 2 week vacations if we were paying hotel and dining expenses. They wouldn’t know how to gather firewood, or the difference between a box or alligator turtle or how to skip a rock across a lake if we were staying in a hotel. These are memories that you can’t buy.

I also forgot how beautiful the night sky is without the city lights. Trust me, I won’t forget again. This past Sunday all we had invested is our time and a kind invitation from Rod and Karola Karlin to their home. The prize was much bigger.

I can’t imagine the smiles being broader if we had taken the boys to Disney World. These 2 little guys were content. I remember that same satisfaction on our own kids faces 25 years ago realizing it’s time to put away the remote and shake the cobwebs out of the tent.

We’re going camping. It’s high time we revisit first hand the beauty of God’s world that we only look at in our Missouri Conservation magazine. Gary and I may need a cushier mattress because I’ve heard the ground has gotten harder over the past 25 years. But something inside of me tells me it’s worth it – do you care to join us?

 

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It’s been a little over a week now since

I've posted a new entry on the website. Not because I don’t have anything to write about, I always have an opinion or something to say. I think it’s because there’s so much going on, it’s been hard to narrow down the subject matter.

There’s a lot on my mind. Mostly about the changes that have taken place in my life in the past year. Specifically how God has blessed me.

Over the past few months He has answered questions for me that have been on my mind for 20 or 30 years. In fact, it’s not only something that’s been on my mind, but something I’ve worried about, a lot. I’ve been told by doctor’s I should have died from my childhood abuse, but I didn’t – here I am.

Without going into detail, I’ve had accidents (like falling through the garage ceiling onto the concrete floor) and illnesses that should have killed me. All of which I have recuperated unscathed, without major complications. Don’t think I haven’t asked, why me Lord.

If you will remember a couple of posts back, one entitled I haven't been feeling well. http://www.karenmaag.com/2011/08/i-havent-been-feeling-well-this-week.html, In it I referred to scripture from 2Peter 3:8. It says don’t forget this one thing, with the Lord a day is like a thousand years and a thousand years is like a day. Honestly, 20 or 30 years isn't that long in God’s time to wait for an answer, but that’s almost half my life and that is a long time to me.

But, as I’ve said a couple of paragraphs up, He has been answering my “why me Lord” questions and he’s still revealing the answers to me. He is using me in a way I never would have dreamed possible. He is allowing me through what I write and the words I speak to help others heal. He is using me to give hope to others by sharing my testimony.

What an amazing gift to me, because in my efforts of writing and speaking and sharing, I am continuing my own healing. I shared with someone the other day, every time I think I’m done, that I’m fixed and completely healed from the hurts in my life POW, I’m reminded I’m not there yet.

I have, I think finally come to realize I will never be totally and completely healed until the day I die and I’m living out my eternal life in heaven with my Father Almighty. And that’s ok, because in the meantime I will continue to serve and honor Him in every way I can.

PRAYER. I thank you God for coming to me and wrapping your protective arms around me when I was a very small child. I thank you for seeing me through the hard times and helping me see good, even in the bad. You taught me to see beauty in ugly and peace in turmoil. You have given me numerable blessings in disguise and helped me thank You for unanswered prayers. Because of You, I have the occasional ability to see hurt in others that you put in my path so I can talk to them and share Your love and healing and blessings. But most of all Lord, I thank you for forgiving my sins by giving your only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life. Amen

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