Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Ah, I didn’t think so. None of us enjoy our annual checkups, especially if they end up being more frequent than yearly. If you’ve been a frequent reader of my posts, you've read how I’m not always a very good patient. Not because I don’t want to take care of myself – more because I stay busy caring for others and don’t make me time.
I’ve reached the point that I have no choice but to put myself first. In fact, I will take it a step further. I’m going to ask all of you to keep me in your thoughts and prayers.
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Here’s the scoop. I mentioned a couple of posts back that I hadn’t been feeling well. Though a tad bit better, I’m still experiencing dizzy spells. They’re enough of a nuisance that I called the doctor’s office agreeing to the MRI that was recommended in my original visit.
The test results are in with the prognosis being, they want more tests. I need to do another MRI and MRA then visit with a neurologist. Not exactly wonderful news to hear at 4:45 on a Friday afternoon is it?
The prognoses lead me to an immediate state of intense fear. What truly do I have to fear? I’m in God’s hands. Still inside me is the little girl that God came to and wrapped his protective arms around. I didn’t understand who He was then – I just experienced a sense of security. I lost it for a bit, but it’s back.
I know who He is now and my faith is stronger than ever. A friend led me the other evening to Matthew 11:29 which says Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. This verse is proof to me that I’m not to worry. He knows what the test results are, even before they’re performed.
I imagine I will be reading this verse many times over the next few weeks because I have human emotions of fear and worry. God knows me and doesn’t expect anything different from me. But, He also knows I have turned my concerns over to Him.
I’ll share with you right now if you haven’t already figured it out – I’m a fighter. I refuse to go down without a struggle. The good Lord has been doing so much work in me over the past year I can’t help but think He’s just giving me more speaking material. I am a survivor – I can’t control what happens but I will survive it.
Charles Swindoll said We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude... I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. I agree, don't you?
I’ve already shown growth in my faith by writing this post. Even as recent as a year and a half ago, I wouldn’t have shared this current challenge with you my readers and possibly even my family. I am and I have done this because of my maturity in the Lord.
The next few weeks and months will be a challenge for myself and my family. Don’t think for a minute that I’m going to cower down to this allowing my ill health to take control of my life. I am going to manage my illness. Will it be tough, yes!
This is a chance to learn as well as teach. I plan to take full advantage of this opportunity so watch out, I’m pumped and ready to go. My MRA and MRI are scheduled for the 15th of September. I should have those results fairly soon after that date and I will keep you posted as soon as I process the results myself, so please keep the prayers coming.
Is this a crisis? No way! Is it a blessing? Most certainly!
By the way, I love you all.